We Tried Different Brands of Shapewear and Somehow Still Felt Fat in All of Them

In an effort to save you time and hassle, we gathered a group of Reductress writers to sample the latest brands of shapewear. Some performed better than others, but somehow we still felt like big fat turkeys in all of them.

 

The Miraclesuit

We found the miracle suit to be best for avoiding a panty line, but it still didn’t feel worth it since, like all the other brands, it squeezed all our fat in on us and we felt truly enormous. This is definitely one of the better brands but it’s unlikely that wearing it will prevent you from feeling like a big old tubbo.

 

DKNY Shapewear

The DKNY shapewear was a little tighter than we’d like, which had us feeling even fatter than we were already feeling when our editors asked us to squeeze our fat asses into a bunch of different shapewear and model it for them. The belly control was good, but made us feel terrible about having bellies in the first place. Buy it if you want?

 

Maidenform

Maidenform was the most breathable of the shapewear, but it left a very visible panty line. And who wants that when you already feel fat as fuck? This experience was humbling, to say the least. We all ate salads for lunch that day and they weren’t good.

 

 

Spanx

The Spanx were so hard to peel off of what we thought were fairly normal bodies but we’re now feeling like are huge, burdensome bodies. It definitely kept everything tucked in but there wasn’t a moment we were wearing it where we didn’t feel like, “We are bad. Our bodies are bad.” Still, this was overall the best of the bunch.

 

Hopefully this guide has helped you choose the right shapewear for you! Wear any of these if you’ve got an event coming up where you want to contain your flesh while continuing to feel bad about it.