In a story many are soon to call a grave beacon of injustice, some person just went viral for tweeting something that I, Sasha Richards, have totally thought before.
“This is outrageous,” says any rational person upon hearing this news. “Sasha has had this exact thought before, and is really the one who should be enjoying the rewards of virality.”
To add insult to an already injurious situation, the person who essentially stole the viral tweet from my brain only has 454 followers, so clearly the content would have blown up from any source including my own account, which, not to brag, actually has 30 more followers than that already.
“When you see a viral tweet you could have thought of from a big account, you think, okay, I could have tweeted this, but with my follower base, it wouldn’t have any done numbers like this anyway,” says an expert who is me. “But for a small account to garner 120 thousand likes on an observation that has absolutely occurred to me before? That’s a hit. That’ll take you out.”
At present, I am laying low while I recover from someone else achieving twitter fame for a joke idea that I honestly thought of too, and I even had something in my drafts that was, like, kind of it, but more focused on a different angle.
“It’s easy to say that a viral tweet will resonate as something a lot of people have thought about, and that’s why it goes viral, but that’s actually not true,” says the expert. “A viral tweet is the articulation of something people didn’t even realize they had noticed. It brings the unconscious to the surface.”
“That’s why when there’s a viral tweet of an amazing observation that you’ve actually articulated in your head before, that’s really unfair,” the expert adds. “Even if out of touch haters say that a viral tweet isn’t just about an idea but also the way it’s worded and that there’s no guarantee you would have gone viral with the same idea worded differently, and also you just didn’t tweet it so what are you even talking about.”
We all hope nothing so fucked up ever happens again, but in the meantime, I vow to tell as many people as possible the truth behind this viral tweet, and I urge you all to do the same.