Uh Oh! Friend With Boat Wants to Talk Politics

In shocking news coming from Belmont Harbor in Chicago, IL, it looks like your rich friend wants to talk about politics literally right before you two get on their beautiful, expensive speed boat.


Yikes! What do you do now?


You’ve known your wealthy friend, Jennifer, for a very long time, primarily because you went to the same middle school together. But even though you thought there was a mutual understanding between you two about your different political views, it seems like Jennifer wants to dig deeper.


What does being a socialist really have to do with you getting on your friend’s luxury boat, anyway?


“So what do you think about what’s happening in politics right now?” Jennifer asked, baiting you vaguely.


Despite there being a seemingly infinite amount of things that are broken with the government that you could talk about with her, there wasn’t really anything that was safe to talk about that wouldn’t put you in danger of getting uninvited from all of her boat parties this summer, so you decided to try and keep the peace.



“I think that there are a lot of things that need fixing,” you told her, making sure to also be extremely broad so as to not threaten boat access.


Ever since you found out that her family had a boat, you’ve reportedly maintained a delicate friendship with her that is also completely void of any intimacy or knowledge about each other’s inner feelings about anything, so of course this bitch had to go ahead and fuck everything up!


“Oh, I absolutely agree,” Jennifer responded, to your relief. “Mai Tai?”


At press time, you spent the day relaxing on Jennifer’s boat in complete silence.


Hopefully there’s a Marxist abolitionist with a boat somewhere out there that you can literally jump ship to before it’s too late!