The One Magician It’s Okay to Date

We’ve all been there. Cute guy, nice smile. Great sense of humor. Fun friends. Chill family. Then—Abracadabra!—that son of a bitch turns out to be a magician. The deal-breaker to end all deal-breakers. While we all know magicians can be a huge dealbreaker, there’s an exception to every rule, and that exception is named William “William the Wondrous” Wilkins—the one magician whom it’s acceptable to date.


“I felt at home the minute I walked through the door,” says William, who got his start in magic at Frank Conroy’s Magic Camp for Boys in the summer of 1987. “Or, should I say, levitated through the door [laughs]. I’m kidding. I walked.”


As William grew older, his knack for magic only improved. “I started using my magic at school and it really caught the eye of some of the girls in my class,” says Will. “The best trick I had was one where I’d have my phone ring and hand it to a girl next to me and say, “It’s for you!” Then it would be me on the other line saying, “Dinner tonight?” It worked about 10% of the time.”



See, William the Wondrous doesn’t have that annoying, showy vibe that most magicians have. He won’t take you shopping at your favorite hat boutique, then pull a rabbit out of every hat. He won’t make dinner magically appear at a restaurant, ending your date because you’re not allowed to bring food from other establishments. He’s just a regular low-key guy who just happens to possess the extraordinary gift of magic.


No, William is different. He appreciates your needs. He’s the kind of guy who will use his powerful magic to crank up the heat a few notches when you’re chilly. And he’ll make a tampon appear in your purse when you need one without making a face about it.
“William was actually one of the best guys I ever dated,” says Karen Sheffield, William’s ex. “We broke up over something silly; I barely remember. He was on the road a lot and I wanted to pursue my career. Oh, and also the fact that his career is based on tricking adult humans into thinking you’re some sort of sorcerer, when really you’re just a man who happened to have a lot of free time growing up. Anyway, petty stuff.”


William’s fun. He’s cool. He’s the guy that girls want and the magician that magicians want to be. Now, let’s take this party back to William’s place and see if he can’t make those panties disappear.