It’s hard to keep track of all the wonderful things your man tells you everyday, especially if you’re watching TV at the same time. It’s like he always says, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” At least you think that was him? It may also have been the TV. It’s honestly really hard to tell at this point. Here are a bunch of other super romantic things you’re pretty sure he said that you can brag about to your girlfriends at brunch:
“I want to regret kissing you, Joey, but I can’t. It was the smartest decision I ever made.”
While this seems like the swoon-worthy type of thing your angsty lover dove might say, you think this might be from Dawson’s Creek. Yeah, your name isn’t Joey, is it? Pretty sure Dawson said that. It’s all coming back now.
“We should all be so lucky to have someone who will never let us go. The ultimate legacy is to leave behind someone who will love you forever.”
It was so sweet and soulful when your guy said this to you. It was like, “Wow, there really is something deep going on in there with him, isn’t there? He really gets love.” FUCK! This is from Ally McBeal. Your memory’s gone to shit. Maybe drink less?
“A person’s wedding is important. And especially to me, okay? I didn’t have a graduation party. And I didn’t go to prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who in his own words wanted to ‘kill me, or whatever.’”
You’ll never forget that night on the roof deck. Planning your wedding while swigging from the same bottle of Yellow Tail. What may have only been 22 minutes seemed to last forever – wait. It was exactly 22 minutes. Because this is from an episode of Friends. This wasn’t your man, this is classic Phoebe babble. Duh. Ugh. He’s definitely said something romantic at some point though, right?
“We have to have sex to save the friendship!”
He’s your best friend above all, and he never wants you to forget! Damnit. Nope. That’s not about you, that’s Elaine and Jerry from Seinfeld. We bet your man still thinks about this from time to time though, right? It’s been awhile since he’s initiated intimacy.
“What the Democrats don’t want to tell you is that abortion clinics use the same medical equipment as puppy mills, bought with YOUR tax dollars. How’s that for an eye opener?”
He has such a way with love metaphors, and his passion for politics is rivaled only by his passion for you. You’re not quite sure how the subject came up, but – oh. Yes you do. You heard this on Fox and Friends. Why the hell were you watching Fox News? God, I hope this isn’t true.
Underneath it all, men can be such sappy romantics and say the most romantic things. Or we might be thinking of TV? Not sure.
