Stolen Nerd Valor? Woman Who Was Popular Now Pretending She Was Bullied in Middle School

Emma Burns of Lancaster, PA stirred up controversy and betrayal on a reunion Zoom hang with vicious lies about being bullied in middle school, despite being popular enough to date the hottest guy in seventh grade.


This is an act that some have classified as stolen nerd valor in the darkest sense.


“Ugh, middle school was the WORST, I had the ugliest braces!” Burns said. “Everyone made fun of me so bad for them. I was such a dork!”


Accounts from Greenville Middle School indicate that Emma only had braces for four months, and had them during early fifth grade when it was still exciting and cool to get braces.


Emma’s longtime peers, however, see through her facetious accounts of being bullied in middle school.


“Emma was on the soccer team and was the first person in our grade to shop at Forever21,” said Uma Long, former classmate of Emma. “Meanwhile, I brought my Barbies to school so I would have someone to eat lunch with. I guess she just wants to feel relatable now or something, but nobody is buying it.”


However, her peer’s recognition of her lies has not stopped Emma from her denial and appropriation of the nerd and loser experience.


“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I was NOT popular,” Emma recanted. “I was a gross theater kid!”


Reports indicated Emma’s actual experience was being the head of the theater kid clique, and singing a solo in front of everyone during the school’s staging of Seussical the Musical.



“Emma can get the fuck out of here with that,” said former classmate Paula Ferris. “She bullied me all the time in middle school before I figured out what to do with my hair in eighth grade. But she can’t just conveniently forget that she made fun of me for not having a Lisa Frank folder every goddamn day? I call bullshit.”


Now that’s a relatable middle school nerd!