‘It’s Mariah Carey Season,’ Exclaims Uncultured Swine Who Doesn’t Listen to the ‘Glitter’ Soundtrack Year Round

Woman beside Glitter Poster

Shortly after Halloween ended, the onslaught of early Christmas cheer began. With this was the declaration that “It’s Mariah Carey Season!” from Heather Jones, local uncultured swine who clearly doesn’t listen to the Glitter Soundtrack by Mariah all year round like normal people.


This simple-minded hack doesn’t know that Mariah Carey Season actually never ends. What a pity!


To further underscore her blatant disregard for Mariah Carey’s magnum opus, Heather’s tweet included a GIF of Mariah Carey from her music video for All I Want for Christmas is You. While All I Want for Christmas is You is an iconic holiday bop, this clearly revealed that Heather is completely ignorant of the delicately post-disco bops that were both nostalgic and revelatory on the Glitter soundtrack featuring Da Brat. Shameful.


To make matters worse, Heather’s tweet was met with 12 likes and 2 retweets, showing that the masses are similarly without any taste at all.



While these complete fools may restrict their enjoyment of Mariah Carey’s timeless voice to November and December, true connoisseurs know that Mariah’s perfectly breathy vocals from Lead the Way transcend the holidays, the four seasons, and time itself. We feel bad for those poor fucks who believe Mariah Carey season is only restricted to the holidays, for they may never know what it is to love or to really live.


As the Glitter soundtrack puts it, “Don’t you even care
/Care at all for me /Reflections of your love /Have come to wither.” Heartbreaking and beautiful, just like the film itself.


While Heather’s and her peer’s ignorance may persist, there is one true Mariah Carey season, and we are all constantly within it.