As cold weather approaches and the economy continues to slowly reopen in our pandemic state, CDC is recommending that gatekeepers at restaurant entrances administer vibe checks before admitting any guests to enter their establishment.
Hosts greeting incoming customers hope to screen out any individuals whose vibes are off. Any patron whose vibes appear even a little bit off is politely asked to leave.
“We feel that vibe-checking our customers before they enter our space should be common courtesy,” shared Mark Lombardi, owner of Anthony’s & Sons in Paterson, NJ. “We just don’t want any negative or potentially negative vibes infiltrating our space.”
“We recognize it comes off as a big mood, but we can’t, in good conscience, welcome a homie who’s simply not vibing.”
Since the beginning of the pandemic, the practice of vibe checks has become more commonplace, even leading some restaurants to request customers log their vibes and contact information and create a contact tracing system in the event that a customer’s vibes appear off after their visit.
While many Americans nonchalantly comply with vibe checks, there are several thousand nationwide outraged at the notion that they can be denied for having unchill auras.
“We don’t want their whack asses here anyway,” Lombardi added. “Even in precedented times. We just don’t want that kind of bad juju in here.”
Despite all this, restaurants are well aware that vibe checks are not foolproof, as there’s always the possibility that a guest can present no initial signs of having bad vibes and just end up being a huge bitch or fuckface later on. But the point isn’t to be foolproof–it’s to feel semi-good and just cruise along. Besides, isn’t that what good vibes are for anyway?