Mom’s Helpful Friend Reminds You That You Were Ugly in Middle School

Dana Southerby, your mom’s very helpful friend, made sure to remind you that, despite what you may look like now, you were very, very ugly in middle school.


These events took place Sunday afternoon when Southerby came over to have a glass of wine with you and your mom.


“That dress looks lovely on you!” Southerby said. “You’ve really learned how to dress yourself. Remember all those terrible cargo shorts you used to wear?”


Southerby went on to bring up even more of the unattractive aspects of your formative adolescent years.


“Do you wear contacts?” asked Southerby. “I think that’s a good choice now that you’re older. I don’t know if you’ll remember this, but you used to have the bushiest, scraggliest eyebrows! The glasses helped cover them a little, but they were a little gaudy, too.”


Southerby, who used to drive your carpool, has been known to remind you of other embarrassing parts of your middle school years, such as your Edward Cullen body pillow and your love of Weird Al Yankovic. This time, however, she focused solely on your former appearance.


“I always felt so bad watching you walk into school,” said Southerby, who has one daughter in medical school. “Just thinking about how all the kids must have made fun of your acne. Puberty can be so difficult.”


“And it was especially difficult for you,” Southerby added.


When asked about the event, your mom said she also had not remembered how ugly you were.


“I hadn’t really thought about it, but Dana made me remember just how uncomfortable my daughter was in her tweens,” your mom said. “She definitely did not look good. Wow, it was really rough now that I think about it!”



While leaving, Southerby said she had a lovely time.


“We should do this again,” she said. “I always forget what a good time we have when us ladies get together!”