Selfish Friend Throws Birthday Party When It’s Cold Outside

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This past Friday, the incredibly selfish and entitled Cara Liechwitz decided to throw herself a birthday party despite the weather outside being well below freezing temperatures and slightly windy.


Cara’s friends and family weighed in on her wholly self-serving and inconsiderate choice.


“I honestly can’t believe she’d do something like this,” said Cara’s longtime friend Elizabeth Delfino. “Like, she knows it’s cold out and that no one wants to leave the house. Why would she schedule her birthday when we have to wear a coat and might have to take a cab?”


“I have no idea when Cara became this selfish and egotistical,” said Laura Spinelli. “She couldn’t have picked a warmer time of the year to have her birthday party? I guess we’ll all just have to dig up our scarves and take the high road here but this just isn’t right.”


“I get that I gave birth to her in the late fall, but I didn’t raise her to be like this,” added Cara’s mother Marcia Liechwitz. “Where did I go wrong?”


But the completely thoughtless and self-centered bitch doesn’t really understand the backlash.



“I…I was just born the day I was born,” she said. “I don’t really get why everyone’s so upset, they come to my party every year. My birthday falls during a cold month. I didn’t choose to be born in November.”


“But I mean, you could’ve tried not to be,” interjected Marcia Liechwitz.


At press time, the unthinking, self-important narcissist had still not rescheduled her birthday party.