Yesterday, 31-year-old Victoria’s Secret saleswoman Caroline Drew guessed a customer’s bra size correctly like some kind of fucking wizard.
“I asked her for help picking out some basic nude T-shirt bras,” says customer Laura Shepherd. “And she barely even glanced at me before going, ‘You’re a 32H, right?’ as if she’d been trained in fucking sorcery.”
Shepherd claims that she had gone over 26 years without knowing her correct bra size.
“Then suddenly this saleswoman hands me a 32H to wear and,” Shepherd whispers. “My back and shoulder pain disappear somehow. Suddenly I can jump up and down without my boobs flying off. Just like that.”
Shepherd believes that Drew’s skills mean she can’t possibly be a regular person, and that if she’s not a regular person, the only other option is “fucking wizard.”
“What else could explain how she guessed my bra size?” Shepherd insists. “There’s no explanation other than that she’s a wizard or a dark lord or maybe Gandalf.”
At the time of the interview, Drew was not carrying a staff, so allegations of her being Gandalf appeared to be unfounded.
“Well then maybe she’s Galadriel, queen of the elves,” Shepherd spitballs. “Or Nostradamus. I don’t know.”
Drew seems to disagree.
“I’ve just fitted so many people for bras that at this point it’s not hard for me to guess accurately,” she says, making no mention of any previous enrollment in a wizarding academy. “That’s all it is.”
When pressed further about whether or not she was the Norse god Odin or maybe a relative of Merlin, Drew shrugged.
“I don’t know who those people are,” she says.
Though Drew displayed no evidence of being some kind of fucking wizard during the interview, Shepherd did report seeing several pointy, wizard-like hats in the store. However, it turned out that they were just cone bras that looked like hats.
