Ruthlessly Strategic Coworker Knows You Can Only Reject So Many Happy Hour Invites

In a developing story out of Oakland, it has been reported that your coworker Debra knows that you can only reject her strategically spaced happy hour invites for so much longer before you must inevitably be free to hang out.


“A couple of us are hitting up a happy hour after we leave the office on Thursday,” said Debra last Monday, with a suspicious gleam in her eye. “Any chance you can make it this time? We miss you!”


This is not even close to the first time that Debra has asked.


“What a long day, huh?” Debra asked one Tuesday in March, rhetorically but intentionally. “The account management department is gonna go grab a few after work and decompress, you’re welcome to join!”


Debra has cunningly invited you at least eleven times prior, betting on the fact that you’ll finally grow weary of saying no and cave in.


“A few coworkers and I are gonna go to that new spot with the backyard and have some frosés later on,” Debra mentioned one Friday in June, hours after learning that you had no big plans for the weekend. “You’re absolutely invited and we’d love to have you there!”


“I know you’re not busy, so you should tag along!” she added, smiling knowingly.


As it turns out, this war of attrition has been her plan all along.



“We just have so much fun when we’re all a little tipsy after hours,” Debra insisted with the vigor that only someone with a secret, ruthlessly calculated and deliberately orchestrated scheme to get her hesitant coworker to go out drinking could muster. “I won’t take no for an answer!”


Sources confirm that she, in fact, did not take no as an answer. It has been reported that your meeting with HR to discuss the implications of the body shots you took off of Dan in IT is scheduled for next Wednesday.