3 Romantic Valentine’s Day Activities That Say ‘I Guess We Kind of Have to Bone Tonight’

With fancy dinner reservations hopefully out the window, there’s never been a better year for a low-key and stress-free Valentine’s Day. And while the pressure of the outside world is off, the pressure of mandated intimacy is as present as ever. Make this quarantine V-day one to remember with these romantic activities that say, “I guess we kind of have to bone tonight.”


Cook dinner together.

Preparing a meal together can be a harmonious and fulfilling act. While the oven preheats so will you and your beau in anticipation of the sex you’ve been assigned to have by a made-up holiday that enthusiastically supports buying teddy bears for adult women. And if you’re not in the mood to bone on a random Sunday night, then you probably just should anyway because you’ll both feel weird if you don’t.


Have a movie night.

Make popcorn and fun snacks for an intimate movie night in. You could watch a romantic classic like Casablanca, but honestly we’d recommend watching something a bit hornier than that if you want it to do some of the work for you. This sweet date night will announce to both you and your partner, “After this is over it’ll be time to clean the kitchen then do some fucking in bed.” It’s like they say, the hottest and wildest sex is always planned in advance, obligatory, and happens on a day that your mom sends you an e-card.



Take a bath.

If you want a Valentine’s Day activity that’s sensual from the start, try taking a relaxing bubble bath together. It might be cramped and awkward, but by the end, you won’t be able to keep your pruney, dried-out fingers off of each other because you both feel like you kind of have to! This is what they write love songs about.


So try one of these romantic ideas that announce the fact that you’re resigned to requisite boning tonight. Or, if inspiration strikes, bone in the afternoon and then you can pretty much spend the night doing anything!