A new Atlanta mall concept is set to launch in 2014: this mall will exclusively features businesses from women of Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise. Executive Producer Andy Cohen explains that the next logical move was to bring all the businesses together in one location. While some say the conglomeration is Cohen’s personal gain, he claims it will “showcase the smart women of the series, who’ve been able to invest in their ideas through their savvy, high-yield marriages.”
“I’ve always wanted to be a business lady!” exclaims Teresa Giudice of the New Jersey cast. Her series of “Skinny Italian” cookbooks will be featured in her storefront along with her bedazzled tank tops and homemade pasta sauce. Her cousin and fellow cast mate Kathy Wakile adds, “I have an accountant even! He wears glasses!” Wakile’s dessert shop is on the same floor as Gretchen Rossi’s handbag store, “Gretchen Christine” and Sheree Whitfield’s clothing store, “She by Sheree.”
“People didn’t have faith in me, they were all like, ‘you need a business plan,’ but I believed in myself and asked my husband for the seed money and now I’m CEO of my own skincare line!” boasts Ramona Singer of the New York cast. Ramona didn’t stop there: a week after her skincare line hit the shelves, she asked her husband for the investment capital to expand into a jewelry line. “That’s how you get it done, ladies!”
“Everyone knows business school is worthless compared to some good plastic surgery,” explained Orange County’s Tamra Barney whose retail outlet, “Wines by Wives,” will have a kiosk on the first floor adjacent to Kandi Burress’s X-rated sex toy shop.
“It’s a big moment in history for women,” agreed Kelly Bensimon, a New York cast member who plans on selling her ‘Memory Chairs’ in the new establishment. Bensimon’s ex-husband, acclaimed photographer Gil Bensimon, reportedly told sources he was just relieved she was no longer spending his alimony on her opiate addiction.
Despite Cohen’s confirmation that none of the stores have a business plan, employee benefits, or certification from the Better Business Bureau, the mall is expected to have the biggest ribbon-cutting ceremony in Atlanta history. Cohen reports that the Bravo cameras will be there to catch any drama from the housewives that might ensue.
And as for the husbands who’re funding this project? “I’ll give her as much money as she wants if it means she’s off my nut sack for a few minutes,” says Jim Bellino, husband of OC wife Alexis Bellino, as all the other husbands nodded on in agreement.