In a developing story out of your kitchen, it appears that roommate Rachel Alvarez is adding ingredients to her smoothly with reckless abandon.
“I always add your standard smoothie fixings: You know, strawberries, yogurt, a little banana,” said Rachel. “But I realized that it’s all getting blended, so why not throw in something unconventional? And maybe a few other things, just for shits.”
Rachel described the increasingly confusing produce she’s combining into her liquid breakfast.
“Cauliflower is having a good year, so I threw some of that in there,” she said. “And I’ve heard of people adding spinach to their smoothies, but I didn’t have any. But I did have radicchio, which is pretty much the same thing, so I put a couple leaves in.”
“The cabbage I added gave it a fun purple color too, if not the most appealing flavor,” Rachel added.
Other roommates are confused.
“We just got an Instacart delivery on Monday, and I know there was a ton of frozen fruit in there, so I’m not sure why she’s skimming off of our salad supplies,” said Kelly-Ann Reed. “I hope she doesn’t tap into our dressing.”
“Yeah, I was planning on making a nice slaw this week, but that’s gone out the window,” said Patricia Hopkins. “I bet she doesn’t even finish that abomination of a smoothie.”
“I just saw her drop a whole mandarin in, skin and all,” she added. “I wonder if she’s okay?”
“I’m totally fine!” said Rachel, as a sprig of dill descended into the swirling slurry. “Totally fine.”