QUIZ: Will the Teens on My Block Make Fun of Me for Wearing These Sneakers?

It can be difficult for anyone to rock a bold fashion choice, but particularly for me because of the cool teens who live on my block and judge my every choice with incisive yet detached scrutiny. As an independent adult woman, I am capable of making my own choices with confidence, but also, it would be nice to just know whether or not those teens are going to make fun of me for wearing these new sneakers. Take this quiz to find out!

I was excited when I ordered these sneakers, but now that I have them on I feel like they’re so aggressively clean and new looking and basically screaming to the teens, “Look at me! I’m trying too hard in my new sneakers!” Am I just a total idiot?

1. No! You’re being way too hard on yourself. Go rock those fresh kicks!
2. Mmmm, this is bad. Maybe you should try to scuff them up a little outside? Oh no, but the teens would probably see you doing it and that would be 100 times worse. Maybe just wear your old boots today.

What will the teens think of my new sneakers?

1. They are living their own lives and will not even notice them! If they do, they’ll probably think they’re cool.
2. They’ll probably think they’re basic or tragic or some teen word you don’t even know but that basically means bad.

What words of encouragement would you give me as I left the house in my sneakers?

1. You’re doing great! Those sneakers look natural and chill on you and totally work with your outfit.
2. Don’t trip. Don’t look down at the sneakers too much. Walk normal. Oh, God, I can’t watch.

Do I look like a 30-year-old Euphoria extra?

1. Do you want to look like that? I’m not sure what the right answer is.
2. Yes, sorry.

Results:

Mostly 1s: Nice try, but despite your web of lies, I know that the teens are going to make fun of me for wearing these sneakers. You don’t have my best interests at heart.

Mostly 2s: Yes the teens who live on my block are going to make fun of me for wearing these sneakers, but I thank you for your honesty. I will be facing this head-on by walking the long way to the store today/until the teens grow up and move out.