There’s nothing in your head the Sorting Hat can’t see, and no high school scenario where the popular girls don’t make your life hell – Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin alike. Take this short quiz to find out which Hogwarts house a beautiful teen witch would kick your ass in!
On the average day, I will most likely be made fun of for:
- Being too brave.
- Being too smart.
- Yellow and boring.
- Snakes!
My ideal wizard pet is:
- A dumbass lion.
- A raven that Popular Angela will laugh at.
- A rat.
- A bitchass snake.
On the street, other people most likely yell at me:
- “Hey, you brave idiot!
- “Stop it, ya smart blue smurf!”
- “Why are you here?”
- “Wow, Popular Angela’s snake is much cooler than yours.”
My dream wizard snack is:
- Magical carrot sticks that I imagine poking into my bully’s face.
- I skip snacks to read more books.
- Wizard crackers eaten quietly in a bathroom stall.
- A magical milkshake that I share with my only friend, my snake.
I want to return to high school because:
- Wait, no.
- Why would I ever want to do that?
- No thanks.
- …prom?
Results:
Mostly 1’s – You’re a Gryffindor, you weird brave dummy. The other Gryffindor girls would def ask why the Gryffindor red looks so period-y on you.
Mostly 2’s – You’re in Ravenclaw, ya nerd. Watch your back or Popular Angela will smack you in the face with a book.
Mostly 3’s – You’re a Hufflepuff, loser. The loyal members of this house will not be so with your weird wizard ass.
Mostly 4’s – You’re in Slytherin. Get ready to take the pain of being bullied and lash out with it later at someone else! Fun!
