As summer approaches, the time is clearly upon us to free the nip. After all, why cage the beautiful beast? As the saying goes, nipple is a girl’s best friend, and hell, a boy’s too if he knows what’s good for him! Of course, there is a time and place, though. Take this quiz to find out if your nipple is your greatest accessory or if you’re in a company-wide meeting right now.
What is the temperature where you are right now?
- Warm! It’s a beautiful day, and the park is full of wandering souls and spirits alight with wonder.
- Cold! Office cooling is a real bitch. Especially in the CEO’s corner!
What are you wearing?
- A lightweight t-shirt and some casual jeans! I didn’t feel like getting dressed up for my “day off morning walk.”
- A business casual long-sleeve button-down, as per office policy of course! Plus slacks and loafers, because I knew today was going to be a big day considering the all-team meeting and everything.
Are there a lot of people around?
- Yes, plenty of artist types! I live in a relatively young, hip corner of town, and on a day as lovely as this, everyone gathers with friends to bask in the sunlight.
- Yeah, duh. That’s why it’s called an “all-team meeting.” There are even a few people I’ve never met before, probably from the company headquarters in London.
Has anyone said anything to you about your nipples?
- Nope! Everyone is minding their own business and enjoying the day.
- Yeah. Yuri from accounting said, “Jesus Christ.”
Are you generally comfortable with having your nipples visible through your shirt?
- Not really, but I’m trying to get better about it! It’s all part of my larger goal to deprogram my mind from misogynistic societal standards that convince us from a young age that modesty is king and women’s bodies are shameful.
- Hell yeah! Most of the sales team seem a bit uncomfortable, though.
RESULTS:
Mostly 1s: Your nipples are your greatest accessory, girl! Throw that pesky wire bra away – hell, burn it for good measure – and embrace the freedom of living life unencumbered.
Mostly 2s: It appears that you’re in a company-wide meeting. This may not be the best time to go nips-first, just because you might get some weird looks! That doesn’t mean you have to go completely nip-covered, though. Feel free to free the girls when the time is right, like when the meeting is over or you’re in a one-on-one meeting with a coworker who is chill!
