QUIZ: Is He Mysterious and Hot, or Does He Just Not Have an Instagram?

So you just met a total hunk at a bar: You chatted about the weather, politics, and his weekend with the boys. You go home after a drunk makeout session and decide to find your knight in shining armor on Instagram to figure out his deal. But what’s this? He’s not there – he literally isn’t on Instagram. Is he the hottest, most mysterious guy you’ve ever met, or does he just not have any online presence whatsoever? Take this quiz to find out!


Does he have a cool and interesting passion?

  1. Yes! His job is just “so he can make money to get by,” he doesn’t work full time because he wants to combat the capitalistic society we are all sworn to. He also creates ‘art’ but he doesn’t see that as a job, rather a passion.
  2. No, he’s an accountant who doesn’t have Instagram.


What did he say when you asked about his family?

  1. He gave you a vague answer looking off into the distance, saying his family travels around and gathers when they want to.
  2. He showed you a group photo of his mom Linda and four brothers — also accountants —  in matching outfits at Christmas. He just didn’t post it online.


What does he do in his spare time?

  1. He goes into the woods with only a bottle of whiskey, a pocket knife, and his journal, but what he does there is between him and God.
  2. When he’s not doing his favorite thing in the world, accounting, he sits in his studio apartment with his cat Fred (also not on Instagram) and drinks Diet Mountain Dew. He obviously wouldn’t post that on Instagram, as he does not have one.


What is his favorite book?

  1. It’s crazy – he keeps a paperback in his back pocket at all times! But he absolutely refused to tell you.
  2. The only thing he reads are Reddit threads when he’s not rewatching The Wire or working as an accountant.





Mostly 1s: Sounds like you really met a hunk at the bar! You will have a happy life not having to worry about him liking other girls’ social media posts (toxic behavior on your part, but at least you won’t have to confront it!), and traveling in his van.


Mostly 2s: Oh no. You fell in love with an accountant. He’s not cool and mysterious, he’s just an accountant who’s too boring to have any type of social media.