Everyone knows the allure of a Frenchman – that suave confidence, intensity, and charm – but it’s hard to tell if your guy is French, or just a creepy man. So with this quick quiz, figure out if he’s un beau or un borderline psychopath.
1. When he sees you, does he:
A: Double-kiss you on the cheek?
B: Double-kiss you on the cheek with a French accent?
2. Job-wise, does he:
A: Paint nudes?
B: Paint nudes, Frenchly?
3. When the subject of “women” comes up, does he:
A: Talk about how beautiful the female form is?
B: Talk about how beautiful female form is while opening a bottle of Château Mouton?
4. When giving gifts, does he buy you:
A: Fancy negligees?
B: Fancy negligees while cutting a wheel of Brie for you to share?
5. When it comes to music, does he listen to:
A: Accordion instrumentals?
B: Accordion instrumentals at sidewalk cafes in Paris?
6. When eating together, does he:
A: Talk about the crustiness of a “true” baguette?
B: Talk about the crustiness of a “true” baguette while saying, “I used to work in a boulangerie, which is French?”
7. When you ask him what “escargot” is, does he say:
B: “Zee snails for eating?”
8. When you met, did he:
A: Approach you from afar, compliment you on your dress, and say, “I just had to come over and tell you myself?”
B: Approach you from afar, compliment you on your dress, and say, “Je seulement devais venir et vous dire moi-même,” all dulcet-like?
Sorry, girl, he’s a creep. Get that accordion-swinging, nudie-brained psychopath away from you before he “snail” mails you a picture of you sleeping.
Congrats, girl, he’s French! You have a cultured oil painter on your hands, you American vixen. Once you’re married (and he’s got his visa) it’ll be nothing but kisses, poems, more kisses, and eternal moonlight. Bonne chance!