It’s easy to get down on yourself these days: With social media encouraging needless comparison, and the internet giving you access to more “rags-to-riches motivational inspo” than ever before, your self-esteem can easily take a blow. On top of all that, it’s sort of lunch time. Take this quiz to find out if you’re feeling bad because of low self-esteem or if you’re just hungry and need a double-decker roast beef sandwich with all the fixings.
How long have you been feeling bad?
- I’ve kind of been on a low hum for the past few weeks, maybe even months. I just wish I had more to offer to the world, you know? I mean, what’s the point if I’m not exceptional?
- Since about 11 a.m. Come to think of it, this is around the time I always start feeling bad. Huh!
How would you describe yourself?
- Oh, the three W’s! Worthless, waste of space, and whore. Is that bad?
- With lettuce, tomato, turkey slices, melted American cheese, jalapeno peppers…oh sorry, I thought you asked how I would describe my perfect sub.
Have you tried anything to alleviate your bad mood?
- Yeah, I tried journaling, but I always start spiraling even more than I already am. Nothing seems to work! Classic me – not even good enough to stop feeling bad!
- I tried a bowl of cereal but…it’s just not the same. I need something more. Something with more heft. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I’m just not sure what it is.
Where do you typically go when you feel this way?
- To the beach to stare at the waves and contemplate where I went wrong.
- Big Johnny’s across the street. I’ll tell ya, you’ve never SEEN so many fixin’s!
Do you relate to the sentence, “I offer very little value.”
- Yeah. Damn. Guess I’d never heard it said out loud before. That hurts.
- What? No.
Do you relate to the sentence, “WOWEE! THIS SANDWICH BROUGHT ME BACK! LIFE IS COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS!”
- Absolutely not.
- Oh yeah, I said that yesterday.
RESULTS:
Mostly 1s: Sadly, you have low self-esteem. Maybe try talking to someone! Reach out to your friends, lean on your family, and keep your head up, big guy. Hey, maybe even try eating a sandwich with all the fixings – it really does wonders!
Mostly 2s: Brother, you need a sandwich with. All. The. Goddamn. Fixings! We’re talking mayo, mustard, olives, pickles, oregano, red wine vinaigrette, banana peppers, more pickles. Get out there and take your life back, one ungodly massive sandwich at a time!
