Phew! Man Who Just Groped You Is Gay

In a true emotional rollercoaster of a story, a man in this bar just touched your breast without your consent, which at first seemed really bad, but then you found he is gay.


Talk about a close call!


“I have big boobs and I don’t normally wear them out because unfortunately I can get some unwanted attention,” you say. “The other night I decided to let them shine while going to a club with friends, and within30 minutes, a guy we had met said, ‘Oh, my God, look at your tits!’ and sort of poked my cleavage.”


“At first I was horrified, embarrassed, and angry,” you say. “But then he added, ‘I’m so gay, but these are amazing,’ and I was just awash with relief. Normally, an unwanted sexual touch from a stranger would ruin my night, but he’s gay! So there you have it.”


What a massive comfort!



While entitlement to women’s bodies is a harmful and misogynistic mindset for straight men, if it’s coming from someone who doesn’t want to fuck you, you should really just be a good sport and chill out!


“As a woman, being ogled, touched, or having my body commented on can feel really dehumanizing and objectifying,” you explain. “But if that’s being done by a man who doesn’t have sex with women it’s like, this harassment is totally fine because it’s so much less likely to lead to rape. And I love that.”


Talking down to women, sharing unsolicited opinions on their appearance, and sex-based exclusion are all also things that are huge no-no’s for straight men but major slays for gays!


When some witness suggested to the man in question that it was inappropriate to grope anyone ever, he was quick to offer reassurance.


“What? No,” he said. “I like dick.”


Nice! So trans men would be safe for him to harass too, if he knew they existed!