The Perfect Chili Recipe for Making Friends!

My friends are super busy (or they would have returned my calls by now!), so I’m sharing all the secrets of my world famous “Only the Lonely” chili recipe (named after the lone crock-pot used, I swear!) to help busy moms with a quick and easy dinner idea. Juggling a family and career is tough (I wouldn’t know, as I was married to a man who misled me about wanting kids then divorced me a few years beyond when I was able to conceive) but this crock pot recipe cuts your kitchen time in half so you can finally come out and get a drink with me!


Hahaha! Just teasin’ ladies! But seriously, I’m buyin’!


Put these ingredients in a crock-pot and let cook for eight hours. You can make it in the morning before you send the kids to school (I’m guessing?!!!!!) or during a bout of insomnia at 2am to have ready for breakfast. My husband used to love chili for breakfast. Have you ever noticed when you’re married to a demanding narcissist for ten years you’re unable to maintain outside friendships? Use local ingredients when possible.


Some chili aficionados argue that beans shouldn’t be in chili. I’d like to give those aficionados a piece of my mind: tell them to call me! Call whenever; I’m usually awake and due to company budget constraints, I work from home. My number is 616-555-1672! You could even call from prison—I’m not picky!!! Or maybe I am!!! I honestly couldn’t tell you one thing about myself anymore but I can list Roger’s allergies alphabetically!!!


Serves 8 but can be easily modified:

1 pound ground beef browned (MMHMM Yum you smell that? Come over!)

3/4 cup diced onion (Let’s chop together! Many hands make quick work!)

3/4 cup diced green bell pepper (Let’s be friends!)

2 cloves garlic, minced (My husband used to make me omit this but not any more!)

2 (10.75 ounce) cans tomato puree    (You’re going to love this recipe)

1/8 teaspoon hot pepper sauce (This friendship’s hot hot hot!)

2 (15 ounce) cans kidney beans, drained (hahaha beans)

1/2 tablespoon chili powder (Don’t you miss college?)

3/4 teaspoon dried basil (Email me at (NO SPACES!!!))

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper (Hi!!!)


This meal works any night of the week. Its also a great cure for a pinot gris hangover on the weekend. Although, I’m not really into pi-NO gris, I prefer pi-YES gris!


See, I’m funny!!! I’m on instant messenger as CrackPotCrock43!