Congratulations on bringing your little girl into the world! Now for the hard part: naming your child something that will encourage a love of crafting and other twee qualities she will soon embrace. Here’s how to force your will upon your little girl with these old-timey names that will guarantee she will one day grow up to make her own clothing.
Ethel is great, especially when paired with a middle name like May or Rose. Naming your child Ethel is a surefire way to make sure she makes a skirt out of ties one day. Little Ethel will absolutely learn very basic sewing skills and then go nuts with scissors in her room after mandolin practice. You will want to warn her that the there’s a huge hole in the back, but you also want her to be free to make her own mistakes. That’s your Ethel!
Nanette is the name if you want a daughter that not only makes her jeans into purses, and never stops talking about it. With a name like Nanette, she will aggressively become a fan of unicorns and wear socks that she made out of old socks. Good for her! Go with Nanette if you’re looking forward to a month where your daughter repeats the same raggedy fashion show for you every single night!
Tabitha is the perfect biblical name for a girl if you want to always be really nervous about her use of sewing needles. Tabitha is going to use her own blood as t-shirt dye and do most of her best work in the woods. So have a little Tabitha if you want to live your entire life in fear because she only eats hot dogs that she has skinned. Oh, Tabitha!
Look into the future and envision your daughter. Her name is Opal and she’s her own clothing maker, now. She’s sweet and smart and has the confidence of a child that never wears a bra, not even when employers tell her to. You love her, or at least that’s what you keep telling yourself. Actually, you’ve just realized that this “I don’t want anything on my body to look right” aesthetic she’s got going on is exhausting, but you knew exactly what you were getting into when you named her Opal.
Try out these new, old trendy names to guarantee that you will get really good at saying, “Wow, that looks amazing!” as she grows into a beautiful old woman.