Newly Sober Woman Relieved to Know She Will Never Do Karaoke Again

28-year-old Tina Carello recently made the choice to go sober in order to live a fuller, healthier life. And while she’s starting to see some benefits, one she didn’t realize was that she would never, ever do karaoke again.


“When I was drinking, I’d wake up hungover and tired over and over again, so stopping that cycle made me feel so much better,” Tina says. “But knowing that I will never, ever be drunk enough that I feel compelled to sing the entirety of “Come Sail Away” poorly? That feeling is amazing.”


Tina is excited to get better sleep, have more energy, and never feel the false confidence of thinking you know all the words to “Oye Mi Canto” when you definitely don’t.


“I’ve only been sober for a few weeks, so there’s a lot of benefits that I haven’t fully realized yet,” says Tina. “Like how my body might change after a few months, or having the wisdom to say no next time someone asks if I want to sing ‘Lady Marmalade’ with a group of girls I don’t know.”


While it’s comforting to know that sobriety is increasingly socially acceptable, and many bars and establishments have great alcohol alternatives, it is still a bit unsettling to Tina that she may never pick up a dirty microphone to sing “Chandelier” terribly and miss all the high notes.


“While I will sort of miss the feeling of being the fifth person to sing “What’s Goin’ On” that night, I know that I’ll be a better person for abstaining. Plus, I got kicked out of the closest karaoke bar for threatening the DJ, so that’s pretty much a done deal for now.”