7 Vaginal Health Facts (Sorry About the Kiwi, We Couldn’t Find Any Free Photos of Halved Oranges) 

Though no two vaginas are exactly alike, every person who has one will benefit from learning these seven vaginal facts (also, by the way, sorry about the picture of the kiwi. Doesn’t really work, we know, but we couldn’t find any free-use pictures of halved oranges online, so we were like okay, this sort of reads?) Read on for some invaluable vaginal info!


Douching can disrupt your vagina’s pH balance.

A normal vaginal pH level is around 3.8-4.5, and speaking of normal, let’s just get ahead of this before it becomes a thing and acknowledge the fact a kiwi is not exactly a standard vaginal stand-in fruit. First, we tried “halved blood orange”, which was really just overly optimistic, then “orange”, then “papaya”, but still nothing we didn’t have to buy the rights to use. So yeah, that’s how we landed on kiwi. It’s not perfect, whatever. Let’s just move past it so we can focus on vaginal health.


You might be allergic to your lube.

Really anyone might be allergic to anything, and we’ll get to that, but can I just say: Maybe the white part is the clit? Is that crazy? Is it the seeds? That doesn’t make sense; there’s like a hundred of them. A halved orange has the perfect little clit-shaped culmination of white stringy things, the vaginal opening of the center, AND a labia situation going on with the orange segments. You can’t compete with that!



See your gynecologist for regular check-ups.

What if the kiwi had been cut the other way? That wasn’t an option, but theoretically would that work for you?


Not every person with a vagina is born with a hymen.

There’s lots of harmful myth surrounding the hymen, and also, it isn’t my fault that we had to use a picture of a kiwi for this article. I wasn’t properly supported. I told my editor I couldn’t find an orange and she said, “Try grapes?” Grapes? I don’t even think she was listening to me; she had AirPods in.


The vagina is a part of the body.

When we went to the “free to use” section of “orange” image results it was just an iPhone photo of an old man eating an orange on the bus. Is that what you like, you sick freak? Didn’t think so, so maybe everyone should lay off me for once in their lives.


I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for lashing out. I’m just starting to think that any other fruit would have worked better than a kiwi.


Need time to think.

I need time to think.


We hoped you learned a lot about vaginal health from these helpful facts. Sorry about the kiwi. It does not land, and I see that now. Goodbye.