Social media has made it easier than ever to wish people a “happy birthday.” But with birthday greeting rolling in via various apps and texts, keeping track of who did – and didn’t send you their best can be exhausting. A new app, called Friends or Nah?, is setting out to change that. The app allows users to track birthday greetings across all platforms, but more importantly, it compiles a list of everyone who didn’t reach out at all so you can hold a grudge for eternity.
“Each year, I would get overwhelmed with a flood of ‘Happy Birthday’ wishes on Facebook,” says app creator, Samantha Port. “It made trying to figure out who didn’t wish me a happy birthday more difficult. I knew there had to be an easier way to see which friends don’t really give a shit about me…or my birthday.”
The app utilizes a precise algorithm to determine how snubbed you should feel based on how well you know them compared to how rude it is that they couldn’t be bothered to even type in “HBD” on Facebook. It also catalogs whether or not they said happy birthday last year.
“Friends or Nah? makes it very clear which friends have put you out of their minds and filed you into the lonely abyss of people they don’t care about anymore,” says Port. “Seriously. How hard is to take two seconds out of your life?”
Reviewers are clearly impressed with the app, which is currently in beta testing.
“It’s so petty, I love it,” said one user. “I used to wonder which of my friends couldn’t spare less than a minute to celebrate the fact that I was born. Now I know that Jenny couldn’t, and neither could Frank from work. And neither did my grandmother. They’re all dead to me now.”
Ms. Port hopes that her app will help put people at ease, so they nurse their ongoing grudges with more certainty.
“Nothing hurts as much as sharing the same birthday with someone you have mutual friends with, then seeing those mutual friends wish a happy birthday to your friend – but not to you – even though it’s the same damn day,” she says. “And when they post a photo of that friend with a personalized message about how much they love them. That’s like daggers to the heart.”
Holding an unnecessary grudge has truly been revolutionized.
