After using the moniker of Mommy for over seven years since the birth of her child, Jane Langan has changed course yet again and will now be called, Daddy’s Wife.
“On the day I got married, the minister said, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife,’ not ‘Daddy and ‘Mommy’. It only makes sense for me to go by Daddy’s Wife, since I have been Daddy’s Wife the whole time.”
“Sometimes people still try to call me Mom. Mom is my mother’s name! Please, call me Daddy’s Wife,” says Daddy’s Wife, as Callahan insists we refer to her.
When asked for comment about the name change, Jane’s husband, Mark, replied, “I didn’t ask her to do that, but I’ve always implied that it’s what I wanted in subtle ways. Like, I’d tell her that because I earn more money, she’s basically my property, just stuff like that.”
“She told me my first word was ‘Mommy,’ but I’m not allowed to call her that anymore,” says Kate, Daddy’s Wife’s daughter. “Now she’s Daddy’s Wife. But sometimes when we’re fighting, I’ll call her Mom right to her face, just to make her mad.”
“I wish I could call my kids ‘Daddy’s Children,’ but that’s a decision which my children will have to make for themselves. Hopefully they choose correctly,” says Daddy’s Wife, while knitting a tie for Daddy.
“She even asked me to start calling her Daddy’s Wife,” reports Cindy Reynolds, Daddy’s Wife’s best friend. “Last week she asked if I wanted to come over to Daddy’s House and eat Daddy’s Snacks. No, Jane. I’m not doing any of that.”
“I’m not sure what’s so crazy to understand!” says Daddy’s Wife, who is very, very pretty. “I make Daddy’s Breakfast in Daddy’s Kitchen. I clean Daddy’s Room until Daddy is home from Daddy’s Business. Then I serve Daddy’s Dinner. Then I present my Mommy Hole for Daddy’s Sex before I lie awake watching Daddy sleep in Daddy’s Bed all night.”
“I don’t think I should have to explain myself to so-called feminists,” she adds, while brushing her hair 100 times. “There’s nothing wrong with being a human individual third, Mom second, and Daddy’s Wife first.”