Mascaras That Increase Your Lash Volume to Dangerous Levels

All mascaras claim they create beautifully lush lashes. But, there are only a few mascaras that actually increase eyelash volume to levels that are hazardous to the health and safety of their users! These are the mascaras you’ll either want to avoid for the sake of your health, or buy in bulk because they’re amazing:


Rimmel London 20/200 – This mascara is named after the percentage your lashes can be expected to increase (200%) as well as the level of clinical impairment you can expect your visual acuity to incur (worse if you already have less than 20/20 vision).


Maybelline Burn Blaster – This mascara creates eyelashes that extend outwards with a singe-like curl, as though they’ve been burnt. Because they have been! This mascara’s burning sensation (aka: burning) is its secret weapon: “Weapon” because it hurts, as well as because the inflammation on the eyelids it causes does boost the appearance of eyelash volume.



L’Oréal Paris No Clumps, Many Bumps – This mascara leaves lashes clump-free and so lengthy, it’s difficult to see at all once applied. Users of this mascara report that they’ve never seen their eyelashes so long (later, when they could see again). They also reported a high level of bumping into things, but super fans claim, “It’s worth it!”


CoverGirl Lashy-Blasty-Gone – This mascara will give you the eyelashes of a lifetime…as long as you’re cool with never having eyelashes ever again. Just carefully select an occasion that you really want your lashes looking their absolute best, cause after that, for whatever medical reason, they will fall out and they won’t ever return. But it’ll be so fucking worth it for the one week they manage to hang on.


With this information, you can make informed decisions as to your lash and overall health destiny. If none of these mascaras’ side effects sound like they’re for you, remember, you can get a sad, normal mascara instead!