Man Trusts No One Except Everyone on Reddit

As one of the last bastions of independent thought, 33-year-old Dan Harris refuses to trust any major news outlet and instead forms all his opinions on his own – courtesy of thousands of other Reddit users.


“Look. I’ve listened to a lot of podcasts about this,” Dan blurts out at the top of our interview. “I know what I’m talking about.”


We do not know what “this” refers to.


Dan claims he cannot trust the fake news media, believing that journalism is the greatest threat to him being a self-proclaimed “free thinker.” Coincidentally, subreddits that Dan likes to frequent include r/conspiracy, r/Libertarian, and r/MensRights.


Subreddits where he is banned from posting include r/podcasts, r/nutrition and, somehow, r/ShowerThoughts.


“My ideas were too advanced for those sheeple,” Dan says, while blocking a user that attempted to fact-check his claims about the “nonexistent” female orgasm. “I like to do my own research.”


He can’t believe that our nation is full of so many cucks who let themselves blindly trust scientists and journalists, when he has discovered that truth is whatever you want it to be. It just so happens that his version of truth happens to be aligned with the top posts on the front page of the internet.


“Cancel culture is a scourge on our nation. We must fight for our freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and freedom of Man Himself,” Dan says when asked if he has any hobbies.


And through Dan’s critical eyes, even Reddit isn’t exactly perfect.



“One time the brainwashed mob over at r/AITA got the idea that I was somehow the asshole,” he says. “Those people should stay on Twitter. Reddit’s not for groupthink.”


At the end of the day, Dan believes more people need to think for themselves – that’s what strangers online are always telling him.