Karen’s Cat Really More Like A Dog

Local graphic design student Karen Schaffer made waves this week when she adopted an unusual cat from the local shelter. Maggie began exhibiting strikingly canine behavior after adoption, leading sources to believe that the cat is really more like a dog.


At her dinner party on the lower east side last Friday, a few of Karen’s friends were surprised to see Maggie in the living room. One guest remarked, “Oh, wow you have a cat! And she’s not even hiding from us!” Eager to share the news about this chill-ass dog-cat, Karen told them, “Guys seriously, she’s really friendly, like a dog. You’ll love her.”


Throughout the night guests nibbled on mini-quiche after mini-quiche, watching Maggie exhibit oddly friendly behavior for her species, even appearing to “beg” for a taste of what they were eating. At one point, Maggie literally jumped up and sat on someone’s lap for approximately two seconds. “It was exactly like something a dog would do.”


When Maggie disappeared under the couch for an hour, Karen pointed out that she pretty much always sleeps, like an old dog. (Editor’s note: Maggie was not hiding.)



Near the end of the evening, Karen’s friend from work Jonathan initiated a game of fetch with the feline. Maggie watched the small chew toy fly through the air, then walked almost halfway over to it. “It was so doglike that we are almost convinced this cat has dachshund blood or something,” said a witness.


The next day Karen sent a group text to everyone, “You guys, Maggie loved you. She keeps barking at the door hoping Jonathan will come back to throw the old bone around. Sometime soon?”


“I’ll definitely be back,” says Rachel Stevens. “And I’ll be telling all my friends about this dog. I mean cat.”