It’s That Time of Year Again! Time To Fuck The Pumpkins

Autumn is upon us! The leaves are turning, the nights are cool and the spooky scent of Halloween is in the air. And that can only mean one thing – time to fuck the pumpkins!


That’s right! Time to cozy up, hunker down, and get nasty with a pumpkin you sex goddess you! Everyone knows that Summer is for flings, Winter is for cuffing, and Spring is for new relationships. But what about Fall? It can be exhausting to find a guy for every season, so why don’t you just give yourself a break! That’s why Fall is all about having gorgeous sex with a Jack-o-Lantern or a regular pumpkin or honestly one of those little pumpkins that you can buy for like one dollar. Any pumpkin will do. Just get to fucking that pumpkin you have your eye on and go for it – you’ll see!


If you’ve never fucked a pumpkin ask yourself – what am I waiting for? The perfect guy doesn’t really exist, but the perfect pumpkin is right in front of you. And it’s not going to stay fresh forever. So go on. Fuck it. Fuck the pumpkin!


Just don’t fuck a little gourd, ya perv (gourds are babies).



And have fun!