Jack-O’-Lanterns Who Can Weirdly Tell When I’m Ovulating

Don’t mistake them for being cute. This family of jack-o’-lanterns knows when I’m ovulating and they’re extremely pushy about it. They belong to my neighbor, and they keep scolding me! They say that if I want my genes to carry on through give the gift of life, I have to have sex immediately so I have a higher chance of pregnancy. The baby even told me I was wasting my time and eggs. I know it’s Halloween, but this is all a little too spooky for me.