Jack-O’-Lanterns Who Can Weirdly Tell When I’m Ovulating

When I saw this smiling little guy, I thought, finally! A relief from the constant pumpkin-induced reminders of what’s happening in my body. But just as I was moving out of earshot, this jack-o’-lantern called after me and told me my eggs are ready for sperm at this very moment. What?! I can’t catch a break this autumn!