Interdimensional Portals To Escape Into When He Calls His Ex-Girlfriend “Crazy”

You never know what to expect on your first date with a guy. He could be a creep, an asshole or worst of all, a guy who refers to his ex-girlfriend as “crazy”. Yuck! If that’s the case, you need to get as far away as fast as possible. We found a few interdimensional portals that will transport you instantly to another world beyond the reaches of men who love to dismiss their former girlfriends as “crazy” without any further introspection.


Wardrobe From The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

Find Professor Digory Kirke’s wardrobe and step through the doors into Narnia once you find yourself on a date with a guy who just dared to call his ex-girlfriend “crazy” in front of you. Though you’d been sharing a nice conversation about blue whales, him bringing up his former life partner of two years and then invalidating her as “a crazy woman” means you need to escape to a place where he’ll never find you! Enjoy your new life in Narnia, far away from the ignorance of Earthly men.


Tesseract From A Wrinkle In Time

Walk straight through the tesseract you’ve opened up in the middle of an Au Bon Pain when your date says, “My ex-girlfriend was nuts.” Because… was she nuts? Or, more likely, did she just display emotion and call him out for disrespecting her? You don’t have time to find out because a wormhole will suck you into a fifth dimension before he can justify his claim by saying, “she was so needy.” Run free on an alien planet where men who casually dismiss women do not exist.



Closet Doors From Monsters, Inc.

Yikes! Your date just said his ex-girlfriend was a “psycho” who constantly accused him of cheating— and then he admitted to cheating on her. WOW!!! Open the nearest door you can find and allow yourself to be blasted into the city of Monstropolis. You live there now. This is your new home, where monsters may try to scare you but your feelings will be heard and not negated by some dude named Brad whose favorite book is I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.


Floo Network From Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Be prepared to leave any date early once a guy brings up his ex, but carry floo powder for the special instance when he describes her as “a crazy bitch.” GET OUT OF THERE!!! Toss your powder into the fireplace at this tapas restaurant so you can disappear in flames before he ends up ruining your life and saying the same about you. Wherever you end up will be better than with him.


Men can hide who they are for a while. But if he tells you his ex-girlfriend was crazy, ditch him and skip dimensions with these four portals that will take you to a different, safer world.