In a story that emphasizes the importance of connecting with the earth, 25-year-old Vanessa Thompson has sat in her local park for just over five minutes and is now completely in tune with nature.
Okay, girl! Granola, much?
“It’s so important to put your feet on the ground — the real ground that’s made of dirt and grass — not the fake hardwood flooring in your apartment,” Vanessa told reporters while sitting on a park bench with her shod feet on the concrete. “No matter what’s going on with my day, I always remember to sit with nature and let it recharge me.”
So true! She’s really besties with mother earth!
While Vanessa was adamant about the importance of connecting with the natural world, several witnesses remained skeptical of her comments.
“Every time I see her here, she almost always does a little loop in the park and then immediately leaves,” one parkgoer named Jamie Devereux told reporters. “And if she does sit down, she’s only here for about five minutes. After that, she starts getting antsy and then walks out as quickly as possible.”
Despite others’ observations of Vanessa’s park behavior, she still prided herself on how much of an eco-enthusiast she is.
“Okay, I might not be here for very long, or sit down on the grass, or look up from my phone for a full minute, but that stuff doesn’t really matter,” she said. “The point is that I’m stepping away from city life of honking cars and buildings, and stepping into the peaceful, natural environment of the local park.”
Reporters pointed out to Vanessa that this was a relatively small park, and that cars and buildings were very much still in view, but she pretended not to hear them say this.
“Sorry, I’m just really taking it all in right now,” Vanessa said. “I can’t really hear you when I’m taking in all of these natural vibrations.”
Exactly! Let the earth speak to you, girl!
As of press time, Vanessa had left the park after exactly five minutes had passed and the podcast she was listening to had come to an end.
“Okay, so I’m listening to the earth and my favorite podcast simultaneously,” Vanessa admitted. “But I’m still very much connected to the free flowing energy of the park, even when I’m not actually here.”
