IMDb to Add ‘Yiiiiikes, FYI’ Section to All Existing Profiles

In the midst of a cascade of sexual assault allegations sweeping Hollywood, the Internet Movie Database is finally taking action to support victims with a new user profile feature. Available on IMDB pro only, the goliath index announced yesterday its plans to roll out a section called “Yiiiiikes, FYI” to all profiles.


“The section will be a comprehensive catalog of everything shitty about everyone in entertainment,” says IMDb founder and CEO Cole Needham. “Since it appears that sexual harassment and filmmaking are inextricably linked, we anticipate the ‘Yiiiiikes, FYI’ section of some profiles to be more populated than actual resumes.”


Before allowing themselves to enjoy content unaware of how utterly shitty the men involved in making it are, users can do a quick “Yiiiiikes, FYI” check at the bottom of their profile.


Needham said several titles were tossed around before landing on “Yiiiiikes, FYI,” including: “Don’t Make This Dude Your Hero,” “It’s 2017 And This Is Just Life Now,” and “YUP, This Dickweasel, Too.”


While allegations against high-profile names like Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K. and Kevin Spacey have received the most media attention, the “Yiiiiikes, FYI” tab will exist for lower-profile actors as well, such as the guy who got a bit role on Law & Order: SVU who once grabbed your breasts in an Improv 201 class, and the older man who is not SAG but wanted to teach you “how to move” during an audition once.



“In this midst of this feminist cultural breakthrough, I’ve honestly started to lose track of the actors, producers, writers and directors who’ve spent their entire careers sexually abusing subordinates without recourse,” says 26-year-old beta tester Ashlee Morris. “With ‘Yiiiiikes, FYI,’ I can find exactly whose are I should never, ever take seriously ever again with a quick and easy-to-read summary of events.”


Morris says that “Yiiiiikes, FYI” has kept her from giving clicks, views and cash to upwards of a dozen men using their power to sexually manipulate their co-workers.


“This whole process has been so exciting and empowering to watch, but honestly, it’s been emotionally exhausting,” says Morris. “At the end of the day, I just want to kick back on my couch, turn off my brain and binge watch a show that wasn’t made by a brigade of Hollywood predators. Is that so much to ask?”