The biggest controversy these days seems to be whether you wear AirPods or regular headphones, but I personally choose headphones because I think it adds a retro look to whatever I’m wearing, and it’s definitely not because AirPods won’t fit in my extremely weirdly shaped ears.
Even though I used to have the earlier version of AirPods which happened to fit into my ears better, I decided to make the change to headphones to give my outfits a cute little vintage accessory whenever I’m listening to music, and it’s definitely not because I lost that first pair and the new ones fly right out of my weird-ass ear canal like a ripe snap pea.
My friends with regular ears always ask me why I don’t use AirPods since I exercise a lot and usually try to pack light, but what they don’t realize is that I just have more commitment to the 90s aesthetic than they ever could, and that’s just the way it is!
I mean, why would I want to look like 2022 when I could look like 1997? In a sea of AirPods today, I want to stand out – but only in a way that doesn’t make my weirdly shaped ears too obvious. Please don’t look at them. It’s private.
I also really disapprove of the cordless movement when it comes to listening accessories. After all, AirPods are so easy to lose! Why would I want to pay so much money for something that can disappear so easily, especially when they don’t even fit in my ears? That’s not the main reason I don’t have them though – just so we’re clear, even if my scientifically anomalous ears do forcefully eject them, causing a scene at the grocery store.
Maybe if Apple released a headphones version of their AirPods I would give them a try – not because I like the technology and wish that they could actually fit in my ears, but because it would definitely be a step in the right direction for them design-wise. I’m sure lots of people would appreciate it too, and not just because their ears also don’t fit with Apple’s current, borderline-exclusionary version. It’s just a better way to go!
So I’m going to continue keeping the 90s alive with my big headphones, no matter how sweaty my ears get under there, because that’s just how committed I am to this retro style! But if the CEO of Apple is reading this, please consider changing your AirPod design.
