I Put Pumpkin in my Vagina Because It’s Fall and Why Not

Fall is hands down my favorite season. I love apple picking, sweater weather, and all of the pumpkin flavored food and drinks. Pumpkins are the best part of fall! Whether it’s carving them, or baking with them, I love a good pumpkin-centered activity. That’s why this year I decided to shove some pumpkin in my vagina. Why not!


When I went to the pumpkin patch this year, I got way too many pumpkins. Even after making several pies and jack-o’-lanterns, I still had four left over. I had no choice but to get creative with how I use my pumpkins this season. Scooping out the inside of a pumpkin and putting it in my vagina felt like a natural step to take. And if you’re freaking out, don’t—I take the seeds out. I’m not disgusting!


You might wonder why I would put pumpkin inside of my own vagina. But I’ll go ahead and ask you: why the hell not? I love pumpkin everything, so it was just the natural next step to go full-pumpkin vagina. Plus, pumpkins are enriched with plenty of vitamins that I’m sure are nourishing my reproductive system at this very moment. I mean, if Shailene Woodley can put clay in her vagina, than I can definitely put pumpkin in mine during fall. It’s in season!



So far, its been working out well! My vagina smells like a pumpkin, which makes sense, because there’s a lot of pumpkin in my vagina. It’s comfortable and feels completely natural. This experiment has only enhanced my love for pumpkins. I mean, if I really want to embrace my love of pumpkins, all of my body and me should be involved, right?


I also need to prove my passion for pumpkins to the world. At this time of the year, everyone talks about how much they love pumpkins. But I definitely love them the most. Ashley from high school may have had a photo shoot in a pumpkin patch, but is she using that pumpkin as a vaginal gel? I don’t think so. Pumpkins are my thing, and I’m not about to give that up. Sticking the soft sweet goo of a pumpkin inside of me secures my status as the number one pumpkin lover!


Fall is a magical time of the year, and I’m really excited that I can experiment with my favorite parts of it! Putting pumpkin in my vagina might sound weird, but don’t judge me. It’s fall and I’m living this season to the fullest!