Less than a decade after the first platonic relationship where the woman didn’t turn into a psycho bitch all of a sudden, “I Only Hang With Dudes Because There’s Less Drama” has been officially added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association.
The syndrome is exhibited primarily in women and is often first diagnosed in the nascent stages of adolescence. Telltale signs of the disorder includes wearing baseball caps backward even though you’re indoors, shrugging a lot while playing pool, and being totally okay with dudes who wear shorts in the dead of winter.
Psychiatrists insist that this is not in itself a disease, but a behavioral disorder, much like I Always Laugh at Men’s Jokes.
“This is a big shift for modern psychiatry and for those of us who pioneered the study of this disorder,” said Dr. June Cohen of the American Consortium of Lady Brain Science. “For years, this disorder has remained underdiagnosed, but as more and more men make it obvious that the females they hang with better not start shit, we are in the midst of a pandemic.”
When asked why she began to study IOHWDBTLD, Dr. Cohen stated that only some kind of queer would ask that and then proceeded to simulate stroking a large penis in a display of flippant male masturbation.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that women suffering from this disorder know every chick that looks at them sideways wants to fight, that Hillary Clinton just needs a good lay and that bitches are crazy and you just can’t trust them.
While there is no known cure for the disorder, there are accepted treatments that may help, including therapy, medication, and reintegration programs to help the return back to reality.
