Password Changed to Less Sad Memory

In an effort to start her days more positively, 34-year-old accountant Jamilla Foster changed her desktop password Monday to a much less painful source of memories compared to her former password: the name of the cat she shared with her ex, David Tompkins.


Sonya Hayes, the IT supervisor of Foster’s office, states, “Her last password, Muffin83, was kind of weak. I think the new one, RutherfordAve26182, is a much better choice both for security and emotional well-being.”


While Foster still thinks fondly of Muffin—the orange and brown American Bobtail that kept their relationship going for a few extra years— her loss of cat custody combined with the ultimate dissolution of that relationship made his presence in her password rotation unbearable.



Foster notes: “It’ll be nice not to be reminded of that cat every day. Not that I want to forget her sweet little face… God, I hope David is paying enough attention to her. The poor little thing would snuggle up in my lap whenever he was too busy with stupid freelance writing. Fuck, can you guys check up on her for me?”


“If this will stop her from crying at her desk so much, I think it’s a good move,” says Foster’s supervisor, Ron Sherman.


Sources indicate that using her childhood address as her new password would be a major improvement, aside from the childhood traumas it might rekindle. The password echoing the block on which her father ignored her, her mother overly criticized her, and her peers routinely shunned her, will surely make Jamilla Foster slightly less sad than constantly reliving the demise of her relationship with David and Muffin.