When it comes to race in this country, I am completely open-minded. No one should be judged by the color of their skin in any capacity, but especially when it comes to dating. People who refuse to date people of a certain race are not only prejudiced, they’re also missing out on who could be some wonderful partners. Not me! I’ll love anyone of any ethnicity. In fact, I loooooove Black men. That’s why I gleefully participate in the historically racist and currently demeaning practice of oversexualizing them and their bodies. Hot, right??
Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate men of all races. But when it comes to Black men, it’s just different. Their chocolate skin, their buttery lips, their beefy thighs: there’s just so many parts of their bodies that I can compare to food and not think critically about why I’m doing so! And even though traditionally, Black mens’ bodies have been sexualized to the point of parody, mockery, and danger, and that fact has been used to justify violence toward them for centuries, I just can’t help myself! I love them!
Of course, there’s the obvious part of Black men’s’ bodies that gets a lot of my fetishy attention. And I love every inch of that very true stereotype. I even made a sign about how much I love Black dick for the protest I went to the other day! Black girls kept giving me dirty looks, but they must just be jealous. Lots of Black guys were stink-eyeing me too, but they just must be the ones dating those bitter Black girls. Don’t hate me just because I lust after your brothers and cousins in a way that I could easily manipulate into violence against them if they don’t give me my way!
I just can’t get enough of Black men, they’re so much better in bed! And I say that because I’ve only ever slept with them, I could never actually date one. My father would blow a gasket. In fact, if my dad ever caught me having sex with a Black guy, he’d probably call all of his buddies and things would probably go really bad for that Black guy. Yeah, I guess my dad’s pretty racist. But for now, the only thing I can do about that is to keep fucking Black dudes behind his back and bragging to all my other white friends about how their bodies are so rugged and ripped and smooth and strong and sexy and dangerous. Uh, wait I mean, not dangerous…
No, I’ve never heard of Emmett Till. Who’s that?
Anyway, you know what they say: once you go Black, you never go back. Well, they’re right. I’ve switched to the dark side, so to speak. And even though I’ll eventually settle down with a conservative white guy whose politics I’ll immediately adopt as my own, for now, I can’t stress enough how much I loooooove Black guys. At least, I love their bodies. Their hot, sexy, historically violated bodies. Yum!