Not feeling confident in your current relationship? You could try couples therapy, but why not just have a baby? And not just any baby – one with a super original name that’ll make people say, “Wow, that baby must have cool parents who share each other’s values and love each other a lot.” Here are some common relationship problems that can easily be fixed by having a baby named Ocean.
Lack of Communication
It’s easy to lose steam in a long-term relationship. The longer you’re together, the harder it can be to keep the modes of communication active and open. You know what is open, though? The great big ocean, which is also a beautiful name for a child that will undoubtedly become more interesting than your stale union!
Different Ideas for the Future
Afraid you don’t see eye-to-eye on what’s in store for you guys? Land on the same page real quick by getting preggers and naming that baby ‘Oash! After the initial shock, tell yourself it’ll all work out because that baby will have a hip name – maybe one of the names you had in mind for the pet you could never agree to adopt together! Ocean it is!
Incompatible Sex Drives
A decrease in sexual activity is one of the first signs your relationship is on the rocks. While making an effort for intimacy provides healthy romantic reconnections, it also makes babies! Try to squeeze a quick slam sesh in when you’re ovulating and before you know it you’ll have a cool baby named Ocean. Everyone will be like, “Wow, that’s a chill baby” and you’ll find a reason to go on another few years. Aw, babies!
Infidelity
For many, infidelity is the line in the sand. But if your partner cheats maybe you could also just, you know, forget about the sand entirely and focus on the ocean? Specifically a baby named Ocean that’s so cute and chill that you can forget he cheated entirely. Embrace the fact that monogamy isn’t common in nature and give your baby the sort of name that’ll make the other kids on the playground think, “Damn. This kid has emotional depth.” If you make a cool kid, you’ll never want to break up! That’s how it works!
Having babies to save marriages isn’t new, but giving them a name that’s future Avett-Brothers-cover-band-lead-singer-level is! Do you want to love your child more than your significant other? Then call them by something you’ll never get tired of saying because it’s just sooo pretty, but maybe is also a large body of water you’ve considered drowning your partner in! Woohoo, stormy seas ahead!
