Now that I’m an adult and my mommy doesn’t make my doctor’s appointments anymore, I took the leap to schedule an appointment all on my own. What happened next was devastating: After I made my appointment, I actually had to go.
Making the appointment was difficult enough, it took me weeks to find the time in my schedule. Then, I had to login into so many portals and recover so many passwords, it was borderline traumatic. However, I persevered and was finally able to schedule the appointment all on my own.
For days leading up to the appointment, I considered rescheduling or canceling so I wouldn’t have to go. I thought about escaping the country and creating a new identity just so I could get out of my commitment. Instead of going M.I.A., I mustered the courage to actually go.
How did I do it? I still don’t know.
The toughest battle was getting myself up and motivated. The morning of my appointment, I woke up feeling nervous. The dreaded day was here and I had to go to my appointment to avoid a $25 fee. I dedicated my entire morning to preparing for my 3 p.m. appointment. A pit formed in my stomach just thinking about the logistics of getting to the doctor’s office, checking in, and waiting in anxious anticipation for the nurse to call my name.
My prep included acquiring all the documents I had to bring, compiling all the information I had to share, and practicing the awkward “haha a little” I’d offer when the doctor asked me if I smoked weed. Prior to my appointment, I found myself stuck in an endless loop of unanswerable questions: What’s my middle name? Where is my social security card? Do I even still have my social security card? Do I even need a social security card?
The clock was counting down. If I was late, they wouldn’t see me and I would have to start the cycle all over again. It was time to go to my appointment even though it would be the most painful experience I’d ever have to endure.
Going to my appointment was an uphill battle, but I had finally made it. I got there 15 minutes early just so I could thumb through a faded House & Garden magazine from 2002. When they called my name out, I felt a rush of pride, “Yup, that’s me, I’m here. I made it.”
Now, I see myself as a beacon of hope that you too can schedule your appointment and go to it. It was challenging and I almost didn’t make it. But there I stood in the office of my appointment, making strides for humankind and commitment-phobes. If I can hold myself accountable to my appointments, then maybe you can, too.