It’s a question as old as probably 30 years: “How can I prepare my pubes for a gynecological exam in a way that’s respectful but doesn’t seem like I’m trying too hard or over-thought it?” You’re right to wonder, but now the answers are available. Here are three foolproof approaches to trimming your pubic hair specifically for the gynecologist such that they don’t look like you trimmed them for the gynecologist.
Schedule a wax for two and a half weeks before.
If you’re a waxer — bikini, Brazilian, bald eagle, whatever your style may be — be sure to schedule an appointment for 2.5 weeks or roughly 17 days before your appointment. This timeframe will allow for a level of grow-out that says, “My vagina is an inviting and low maintenance space into which you may perform a medical exam. I’ve thought nothing of my pubes in preparation for this, and neither should you.” Your doctor will appreciate this without even knowing they appreciate it because the whole thing is just so chill.
Use an electric razor, but don’t look.
If you neatly and perfectly groom your pubes directly before your next annual, your gyno will be terrified, assume you are trying to join their marriage, and claim to no longer take your insurance in order to be rid of you. Avoid this headache by acquiring an electric razor with a guard length of your choice, then going to town on anything south of the belly button and north of the crack while blindfolded or otherwise distracted. Perhaps while finally reading Ann Patchett.
Shorn butthole, wild bush.
For a bold but effective approach, get your butthole as depilated as a newborn joey, then leave your pussy 70s porn star chic. Your gyno will be so amazed by your shiny, bald asshole, that by the time they even remember that they’re there to put stuff in your vagina, they’ll be focused on the job and the job alone. Plus, your hole doctor will never once think you did this pube-scaping for them, because if you had, why would you do this?
Your next trip to the gynecologist will be your most relaxed yet with these pube-trimming methods that make it clear you’re a perfect patient, but in a natural way that requires no thought or effort. And if that’s not enough to win their approval, just lie about always using protection!
