If you’re searching for a quick and easy way to update your late autumn wardrobe, look for style inspiration in new places, like Deidre’s empty bedroom! This fall’s must-have accessory is an unclaimed bag of clean laundry that’s she’s def not coming back for since she still owes everyone for utilities. Here are some hot tips on how to style her clothes with the few cheap things you’ve got lying around and get you started on making her look your own:
1. Custom-made costume. That chambray top you got in 2009 will always be in style, even if it’s falling apart! To cover up any missing buttons or frayed hems, add a fun Western-print vest. True, it might be from that time your old roommate was a cowboy for Halloween, but just take off the “Sassy Sheriff” badge and no one will know it’s not Ralph Lauren.
2. Shitty boyfriend chic. You may be wondering what to do with that gold brocade jacket you splurged on at Forever 21 a year ago. Sure, it’s loud, but don’t despair! If you’re trying to style a dramatic trend piece, look for something understated in your roommate’s castaways. For example, a white t-shirt provides the perfect canvas to build any look. Oh, wait—this was her boyfriend’s undershirt. Use it to wipe up your dog’s pee.
3. Stealth stains. A classic piece such as a blue button-down is always a keeper. Sure, it has a stain on it (I mean, Deidre never cleaned a goddamn thing in her life, so why are you surprised?), but now that high-waisted jeans are trendy, you can tuck the shirt in and keep that spot out of sight! Once you save up $14.80 to buy the jeans, that is.
4. Business casual bitch. This tailored blazer may seem too formal for a night out, but pairing it with jeans and heels says, “Sure, I’m a grown-up, but I don’t take myself too seriously!” Unlike some people, with their glorified secretary job and gluten allergy.
5. Trust fund hand-me-downs. Well, it looks like Deidre didn’t leave behind that green silk dress—bummer! But before you move on and throw everything else out, be sure to check the tag of that sweater she got for Christmas from her aunt–she thought it was frumpy, but who knows? Maybe it’s cashmere! Oh. Oh God. It actually is. It’s cashmere. Goddamn, Deidre is such a spoiled brat! Seriously, what kind of psychopath tosses out a cashmere sweater? Try not to ruin this with any of your cheap accessories.
With these tips, you can definitely add some style to your fall look. And if Deidre calls and says that she left a cashmere sweater behind by mistake, shut it down by saying something like “Considering you owe us $500 for Con Ed, let’s just call it even.”