How to Stop Writing Your SSN With Your Tongue During Oral

There are plenty of recommendations online for how to properly eat your partner out, but some of them can be a threat to protecting your identity. If you’ve fallen victim to this false advice that writing your social security number with your tongue during oral is super hot and your partner will love it, it can be scary to change your habits, but know there is better, safer sex on the other side! Here are some tips for how to stop writing out your full SSN (hyphens included) during oral:


Go slow and be present.

While it can be tempting to go right for writing your SSN and other personally identifying information with your tongue, don’t rush things! Taking it slow will ensure a satisfying build-up for your partner and give you the time to ask yourself: Should I really be shaping this specific combination of digits onto their clit, or am I maybe just nervous? It’s okay buddy, take all the time you need. It’s for your own good.


Remember—safety first!

Practicing safe sex is about more than just using a condom or dental dam with your partner. It also means not giving away your social security information so that they can quietly store it away for when they eventually use it against you. You may think you and your partner are close, but you never really know someone, and they could be hopping up out of bed, throwing on their pants, and rushing out the door to steal your identity in a heartbeat. Safe sex is good sex!



Try protecting your information with a quick CAPTCHA.

It can be anything you want—asking them to identify a photo of a bus or crosswalk, or maybe a string of letters and numbers. As an added bonus, watching you pull up the necessary printouts for the CAPTCHA will serve as exciting foreplay!


Ask if they’d like you to write their SSN instead!

The key to great sex is communication, and writing your partner’s social security number with your tongue is a great way to help them feel that you’ve really be listening. It’s a sign of intimacy: They’re showing they’re willing to be open and honest, even about their financial and personal information. This one has the added benefit that if you forget to grab their phone number after this quick hook-up, you could always contact the Department of Internal Affairs and empty their bank accounts! Remember, this is also for safety.


So if you find yourself with the urge to write your SSN during oral, maybe chill for a second, think it through, remember the consequences, and take precautions. There are also plenty of other ways to give satisfying head, for example by spelling out the digits on the front and back of your credit card!