When your timid communication style starts to affect your sex life, it’s time to address it.. Maybe you couldn’t cut your self-deprecating follow-ups out of your lexicon before your board meeting, but you might be able to get rid of them from your sex life, at least! If you’re looking to come off as more confident and self-assured in the bedroom, here are some simple tips on how to stop saying, “Does that make sense?” every time you talk dirty.
Own your confidence.
It’s normal to feel insecure about whether your directions during dirty talk are clear, but when you demand, “Suck it like an ice cream cone, not a straw,” you aren’t mincing words with phrases like “Does that make sense?” or “If you want to.” Uh, OBVIOUSLY. It’s a beautiful and clean metaphor. Your economy of words should be applauded, not challenged!
Build a new habit.
Another handy trick for nixing the habit is to swap out one vocal tic for another. Instead of “Does that make sense?” maybe try, “I’M YOUR DADDY NOW” or “Uhhhuhhhhh fuUUUUuck!!!” The more you repeat your new phrase, the more naturally it’ll roll off the tongue! Lose that nagging self-doubt and own your words, bitch!
Find a smarter partner.
If you encounter a situation when your partner is actually confused about the directions you give during sex, simply wait for them to ask for more guidance. They’re a grown ass adult. They can use their words. If you find that your sweetie is still a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what you’re clearly and explicitly looking for, maybe they’re just a little bit stupid! Aw, it happens!
Now that you’re no longer asking whether you make sense, you’ll have so much mental space cleared up to think about other things, like what gives you pleasure, and what dirty talk you want to hear. Careful, with all your energy focused outward rather than inward, you may come to realize that you actually have no interest in fucking this person at all. Whoopsie!