Positive self-talk is an excellent way to improve your relationship with yourself and build up your self-esteem. However, it can be easy to take things too far and go from affirmations that are beneficial to you, to graphic remarks that only serve to make you feel weird inside your own home. Who wants to hear “Let me see that pretty smile!” from their dead-eyed, sleep-deprived shadow self that exists on the other side of their bathroom mirror? These simple steps will help make sure your affirmations remain constructive and consensual, all while ensuring you don’t slip into the destructive realm of lurid catcalls.
Create a routine.
The most important thing about practicing positive self-talk is to be consistent. In order to see any real changes in your self-perception, you need to do your affirmations even when you’re not in the mood. But tread carefully – positive self-talk is easy when you’re feeling it, but it can quickly slip into cat-calling territory if you’re looking into the mirror and telling your reluctant, uninterested self that you are “powerful.” Like, who asked?
Know where to draw the line.
Once you get started with positive affirmations, it can be hard to know where to draw the line. Before you know it, you could be going from “You are worthy of love” to “You are literally so fuckable, that ass is insane,” then find yourself standing in the oppressive, uncomfortable silence immediately following those words. Everyone is different, so give yourself space to figure out where that line is for you. For example: “You’re allowed to take up space” is great – “I’d like to see more of you, baby, take that jacket off,” could be pushing it.
Ignore your inner critic.
A negative inner monologue is a huge hurdle to overcome when practicing positive self affirmations. Your inner critic could prevent you from giving yourself genuine affirmations, forcing you to resort to banal and baseless cat-calls about your appearance. Phrases like “Why are you like this?” and “You revolt me” frequently follow such instances, creating a toxic cycle of damaging thoughts and comments. Defuse your inner critic from the start by not paying them any heed – just as you would any ill-spirited cat-caller on the street.
If you’re looking to start practicing positive self-affirmations, but are worried about tarnishing your safe space by unintentionally catcalling yourself, just follow these steps to ensure you’re speaking to yourself in a way that is both constructive and comfortable to you. Just remember, even if you’re not saying it out loud, that ass is unreal.