How to Moan in Bed Without Sounding Like That Lady Who Fell in the Grapes

Everyone wants to sound sexy in bed, but not everyone knows how to do it, and that’s okay! If you want to sound like a true sex deity while you’re gettin’ it on with your lover, keep reading for how to moan in bed without sounding like that one lady who fell in the grapes – you know exactly what this means!


Try to relax

Sure, moaning can be awkward sometimes if you’re not used to it, but just make sure to let yourself relax and express what you’re feeling organically. Before saying “Eugh euh eueh euh ehuheu euh heuhuh,” just take a deep breath. Try to remember that you’re having a sensual experience, and not tripping over a barrel of grapes and breaking a rib.




If you feel like you’re getting the wind knocked out of you, tell your partner and suggest a different position. They probably won’t mind at all, in fact, they’ll probably appreciate you communicating directly so they don’t have to look on in stunted panic like the two anchors attempting to react to live footage of that woman taking a hard tumble out of a small basin of grapes.


Own it

If all else fails, just own the fact that you sound like the grape lady! Grapes can actually be very sexy, and falling out of a barrel, then off the heightened wooden platform that barrel was on can be even sexier! Also, did you ever consider the fact that you might have a fetish for viral videos?


While you might have loved the 2010 youtube video of the woman falling after stomping on some chambourcin grapes (we all did), it doesn’t mean you want to sound just like her when you’re having sex. But even if you do, who cares! That video rocks, and your partner should feel lucky to be basically reliving it in bed with you.